Sleep..........

What is it about a good night's sleep that makes it so invaluable?

You could ask the experts and they can give you infinite reasons.

I think it is the ultimate chicken soup for the soul. Problems are solved, dreams lived, fences mended and bodies revived.

I had a great sleep last night. Curled up next to my rescue hero after an invigorating run with my dogs in the rain. We made up from our argument the day before without doing anything but sleeping.

As time goes by.....

Been throwing myself into anything and everything. Trying to not think about losing C. Her husband was here on boxing day. I wanted to be strong for him. Instead I cried in front of him.

I am 28 and this is the first time I've had to face losing someone I care about. I've led a sheltered life. I can't picture life without her in it. I think about visiting with B and going to their house. But if she were reading this she would tell me to think about visiting her because she has to believe in the possibility of life. I want to believe in the possibility of life too but I don't want to deny things either.

I'm just a friend and yet I can start to understand the fine line that she and her family have been walking for years now. I admire their courage. All of them. This must be incredibly hard.

Chin up for all of us. For now I'm here for her, for them in any way I can be.

Hard Candy Christmas

I'm glad today was a happy occasion for my girls. Seeing their lit up faces and hearing their delighted squeals and giggles was heart warming. The miracle of Christmas is alive in the innocent hearts of my children.

We need a Christmas miracle now more than ever.

My dear friend Chandra does not have long now. Her courageous battle with cancer is nearing the end. My heart is breaking. She is a young beautiful loving woman. I've only known her for three and a half years and she has made such a mark on my life. She has inspired me to better. She has taught me about bravery, humbleness, kindness and love. She has rekindled my creative spirit. I have admired her and loved her from our first meeting. And it seems so unfair that she is going to die. I can't imagine this world without her.

I regret not telling her more often how much of a difference she has made in my life. She is a truly beautiful soul and I have been privileged to know her even if it was only for a while. I am trying to take solace in the fact that she will no longer suffer. That she will be an angel with gossamer wings and a radiant halo. But every selfish part of me wants her to stay here. To be my friend and the woman we all know and love.

Why does she have to endure this?

God, please whatever plan you have for her please give her peace. Wherever she's going make her vital and whole again. Whenever you see her please let her know how much she is loved.

Amen.

Remember the Little People

Tonight on Christmas Eve most of you were able to be with the ones you love. Our house was full of happiness my two little girls were so excited. Dressed in their angelic velvet dresses, they were beautiful. My mother in law and my dad and I had some laughs sitting by the Christmas tree sipping wine. It was almost a perfect picture... what was missing? My rescue hero husband had to work tonight.

This is the choice he made when he chose his career I know but that doesn't mean it's easy. Tonight when you sat down to celebrate with your family did you take the time to say thank you for all the men and women who aren't with their family so you can be safe? Did you pray that they will be able to answer their calls to duty swiftly and safely. Did you hope that they would get to be with their children and loved ones in morning?

Tonight at church we thought about the poor. We thought about families, friends, neighbors, and global communities. Silently I added my prayers for our protectors. Paramedics, Fire fighters and police officers. For our soldiers near and far.

I love my rescue hero and with this I wish to thank him and every other hero out there who is brave enough to put their life on the line everyday so that mine might be saved.

Merry & Bright

The sounds of Christmas...........

Does anyone know that old Johnny Mathis tune?

These are my sounds of Christmas:
- the west wind howling in from the Crowsnest Pass
- giggling from my little girls as they watch in wonder and take in all the wonderful sights, sounds, and smells of the season
- the sound of music, old Christmas favorites to sing along with and dance to in the living room with my girls
- the sound of the oven timer, shortbread cookies, perogies, a gingerbread house.........
- the sounds of lots of voices, we have a pretty full house this year and there's nothing more soothing than hearing the ones you love.

I am so thankful for my children. They have made Christmas so amazing and I appreciate the meaning of it even more when I see it through their eyes. It is the time of year when innocence reigns supreme when we commemorate the birth of a humble baby boy....

God Bless Children!

Merry & Bright to Everyone!!

Happy little house wife

There's no place like home..... I feel like Dorothy today.

Partly because I've been engaged in wholesome activities all day including baking banana bread, watching Sesame Street with my daughter and cleaning the house. Also because my mother in law called on her way down from Edmonton to say she heard that a tornado touched down in the Lethbridge area. Can tornados happen in December?? It's warm here today but not that warm.

I hope my paycheque gets deposited into my account soon. Now that I am done exams and work I have a hankering to finish my Christmas shopping NOW!!

I guess I should go hound my asthma doctor some more. He was supposed to call in a prescription for me today and forgot to do it. His receptionist said I should page him but I hate to bother him. I still think that doctors deserve some reverence. After all they do try to help us. Still it would be nice to get some prednisone started so I can run more than fifteen minutes without wanting to barf up a lung.

I feel useless at the gym lately. Hubby and I have agreed to go workout tonight since Mother in Law will be here to watch the girls. It's going to piss me off to no end when he runs faster and longer than me. (I can't help being competitive about this)

Okay I'm going to go check to see if my grades are posted.

Will be back tomorrow.

gym guilt, post exam burn out and other stuff

Well, it was whirlwind weekend. Wrote my last final on Saturday morning, zipped home and had a massage appointment with my student. I hope she liked the treatment. I did quite a bit of myofascial release and I think she was a little sore.

Then it was off to Calgary. It was great to see all of our friends and stuff but visiting got a little tedious after a while. Probably because I'm so tired.

I was glad to spend some time with my friend Chandra. She is so brave. Her battle with cancer breaks my heart, I love her so much. I admire her courage and her beautiful soul.

Home today and there's lots to do. Clean the house, finish Christmas shopping, get my grades in at at the college, so much for relaxing!

I have not been to the gym in eight days. This is a seriously big deal for me. I feel kind of guilty about neglecting my body. Actually I feel a lot guilty. But I am also trying to come to grips with the idea that maybe it's okay to have a little rest here and there.

Speaking of which bed awaits, it's oh so comfy!

what's on jenzzie's mind

Going to go work my butt of the library this morning for my big exam tomorrow.

My rescue hero husband is kind of tired since he got off his night shift but he's going to take a hit for the team and look after the girls so I can chase my 4.0 dream.

He's a doll!

preChristmas craziness

It's way past my bed time....

So much for my "all nighter" studying for my theories of strength training exam, I'm no longer motivated. Although I did just visit the Hypertrophy Specific Training website (www. thinkmuscle.com for those of you that are interested). I will just never understand body builders..... Why on earth would you want to have big puffy looking muscles with your veins sticking out? Those kind of muscles aren't even functional??? Plus if you're a woman you get a mustache to boot. I think I would rather have a body like Catriona Le May Doan or Jamie Selay (sp).... athletic is way better!

Meanwhile Christmas is almost a week away and I still haven't sent a single card or present to my family. Hmmmmm I think I might get disowned this year!! That's what I get for trying to be a student, mom and employee all at once. Multitasking is highly overrated!

Plus I'm totally pissed about what happened on the Apprentice tonight. I lost all respect for that Randall guy, he should have stepped up and shared the glory. What a selfish bastard!!

Okay I'll stop now before this just becomes another cheesy TV bashing forum.

Back to the books!